I moved to a new country for a better lifestyle, and it feels like everyone I know is richer than I am

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• For Love & Money is a biweekly column from Insider answering your relationship and money questions.
• This week, a reader who moved to a new country feels they aren't achieving their financial dreams.
• Our columnist reminds them that they've achieved a lot and can create a plan for the future.
• Got a question for our columnist? Write to For Love & Money using this Google form.
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Dear For Love & Money,

I am 25 years old, and I live in the Netherlands. I spent 15 years trying to leave my home country for a better future and move to Europe. I thought I would be better off here, have a higher standard of living, and be able to go on holiday.

My whole life, I worked and saved up whatever I could to make my dream come true, but as I saved more, my currency lost value. I made it to Europe 1 1⁄2 years ago, and I am working in tech sales, an industry that pays well even in a junior position, but even then, after rent, food, and bills, there is not much left.

I see people my age going on holidays, wasting money on drinks, skiing in winter, and partying in Ibiza during summer. I feel worthless, and like all the effort I put in to be here means nothing. I make 67,000 euros a year and still can't afford a holiday. I can't travel anywhere. It feels like I moved forward three steps, only for the world to take ten steps backward.

I want to be young. I want to meet women my age and be able to go on dates. I want to spend money on things so that I can meet people. I do not want to be scared to wear the one piece of clothing I bought because I can not afford to buy it again if it gets ruined. What can I do?

Sincerely,

Disappointed Dreamer

Dear Disappointed,

In 2002, my brother-in-law emigrated from Bulgaria to the United States. He was 21 years old, had no money, and a college degree most American businesses didn't recognize. Compared to his American peers who had just graduated from college and were spending their first corporate paychecks on vacations and at bars, his life was distinctly unglamorous.

But appearances were deceiving. He made it to America on his own savings, and while his frugal lifestyle reflected his lack of funds, it also reflected his goals. My brother-in-law used all the grit and brains it took him to start over in a new country, and twenty-odd years later he is now the most successful person I know. Just last year he went on a bucket-list hunting trip in Canada, visited his father in Bulgaria, took his kids to Disney, and whisked my sister away for a romantic tour of Italy and Spain.

I share his story with you to illustrate something easy to forget when life feels exhausting and your dreams are taking longer than you hoped — the best indicator of how far you will go isn't where you've landed; it's how far you've already come. You are a 25-year-old who has scrimped, saved, and accomplished something most people will never accomplish — you moved to a new country. You started working in a position that seems to have plenty of room for career advancement. You, my friend, are a rockstar, and while I know you're tired, you're going places.

So, please, do me a favor: Look at your accomplishments and congratulate yourself. Not only should you be proud of your achievements, but you should also see them as data. You are far from worthless; you are a person with remarkable inner strength and intelligence. What could someone like you do if they had twenty years and enough money not to stress about their survival?

I think that person could move through the ranks of their job and blow past the six-figure mark. I believe that person could find someone to fall in love with who will love them in return, and money and material things won't factor into their romance at all. I think this person can continue their lifelong habit of scrimping and saving, and make their way to Ibiza and any other place they've dreamed of visiting. After all, why not? They have already found a way to move to another country.

That said, I recognize you are looking for practical ways to experience at least some of your dreams on 67,000 euros a year. My advice is to turn your abstract fantasies into concrete goals and make choices based on those goals.

When everyone around you wears designer clothes, lives in palatial apartments, and seems to take tropical vacations every other weekend, it is easy to feel like you must find a way to fit all those things into your budget too. But, as you know well, money is finite, especially when you are young and beginning your career. If you want to go on vacation, you might have to buy your clothes at thrift stores. You can have a comfortable amount of money in savings, but it might mean living in a small place with lots of roommates.

I know these hard choices may seem especially unfair when it doesn't appear that your peers have to choose between anything, but I'm going to let you in on their secret: They either have family money or a credit card balance that would make your head spin. I'm not going to pretend we don't all wish we were born into the former, but the latter is a fate I wouldn't wish on anyone. But either way, their story has nothing to do with yours. If you take anything I am telling you to heart, please let it be this: Your story is inspiring.

You are doing incredible. I know it's hard, and I understand we all have moments of weariness, but don't give up on your dreams now. You've come so far so quickly, and I can't wait to see how high you climb.

Rooting for you,

For Love & Money