Amazon/Insider
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It's rounding 8pm on Prime Day, which means our team is battle worn and loopy from 48 straight hours of covering the best Prime Day deals. I'm tired. So very tired. Which is why when I saw this whopping 1% Prime Day discount on an Hermès Birkin, I near about blew a gasket.
Look, I'm about as deep in how-to-get-a-Birkin TikTok as any other Millenial woman. I know the whole sales associate song and dance — a Birkin is something to be offered, not chosen. And today, Amazon has graciously offered us the chance to buy a used Birkin for the low low starting price of $17,300, once you clip the "coupon" for $200 off. That's just for the green color, though. You'll pony up a cool $29,300 (with discount) if you'd like the pink color. But don't worry, it comes with free 2-day Prime shipping.
The thing that really gets me is that Amazon has advertised this "deal" on its homepage. I had to put on my glasses just to make sure I was seeing things correctly as I searched for deals to add to our best clothing deals and best beauty deals roundups. But, yep, there it was: a little "Prime Big Deal" badge atop a picture of a teal Birkin.
This whole encounter has made me fall into an existential crisis wondering what exactly I'm doing with my life. I'm fully aware that as a commerce editor, I play a deep role in consumerism and internet culture. But this is just too far. I'm seriously contemplating quitting my job, selling all my worldly possessions, and renouncing all I've ever done to further Jeffery Bezos' fortune.
Suffice to say, I think it's time for me to call it quits for this Prime Day. See you next year (maybe).