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- Expensive dates, inflation, and loneliness are weighing on Gen Zers seeking romantic connections.
- Many Gen Zers are focusing on spending time and money with friends.
- Insider talked to Gen Zers who'd turned away from romance, as well as finance and relationship experts.
Marianne Simpson, 26, is just about over the dating scene.
The New York City teacher said she'd spent $100 to $200 a month on dating over the past year. After a string of pricey outings at bars and restaurants, she said costs piled up.
"It's not money I want to be spending when I could be going out and spending it with friends," Simpson told Insider. "If I'm going out for drinks, I'd rather go do it with friends if I'm spending $40 on two cocktails, as opposed to talking to somebody for two hours I may not have a lasting relationship with."
Among Gen Zers, people born between 1997 and 2012, Simpson isn't the only one trying to juggle financial constraints, romance, and socializing. Rising cost-of-living expenses have led Simpson and others like her to consider moving away dating, find inexpensive alternatives, and allocate funds for time with friends — outings that have become increasingly critical amid what US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy has called an "epidemic of loneliness."
Because Gen Z grew up with Facebook, Instagram, and other social platforms, many 20-somethings have grown accustomed to instant connection. But Kellie Ammerman, the chief executive of the matchmaking company Tawkify, told Insider this had exacerbated feelings of exclusion, inadequacy, and loneliness.
To that point, dozens of Gen Zers told Insider they're putting more effort into friendships and nonromantic social events to combat loneliness.
"What we're seeing become more popular is less of the traditional dinner date and more walking in the park or grabbing a coffee," Ammerman said. "I would say that's not necessarily just driven by economics, but I think that's also driven by this shift in how people are dating and them being more intentional. People are not wanting to spend an hour or more of their time on a date with someone they don't feel a connection with."
In a 2022 LendingTree survey of consumers, nearly four in five respondents from all demographics said dating could be easier if they had more money, while one in five said they're going on fewer dates because of inflation.
Those issues come as prices have surged at the fastest rate in decades. Inflation hovered at 3.7% year over year in August, nearly double the 2% rate policymakers want, and it's weighing on Gen Z wallets.
"Inflation really eats away at people's purchasing power," Karin Kimbrough, LinkedIn's chief economist, told Insider. "For consumers, it limits the ability for them to spend at the rate they've been spending, and it probably means they have to make harder choices in trade-offs."
Dating requires more than pocket change
Monthly fees for dating apps make the cost of finding connections even more daunting. Tinder has been exploring a $500-a-month plan, while Bumble is looking to introduce a tier above its $60 monthly membership.
Some lower-tier plans run about $5 to $10 a month, adding on to the price of going on a date in a time when the average dinner and a movie costs $160, according to MoneyGeek.
With food inflation up over 4% over the last 12 months — 6.5% at restaurants — some Gen Zers are moving away from pricey dining for first dates. In a survey of over 8,000 users from October 2022 conducted by the online dating service Plenty of Fish, almost half of single Gen Z and millennial respondents said they had suggested budget-friendly dates.
"You can have free fun dates — they don't have to be expensive," Taylor Price, the founder of the budgeting app Savvy, told Insider.
The 23-year-old shares daily personal-finance tips to her 1.1 million TikTok followers.
"You can romanticize free things like staying at home watching TV, or crocheting, or teaching somebody your favorite things," she said.
And as student-loan payments resume this month, Price added that many young Americans hamstrung with monthly bills would have to delay not only activities such as dating but also major milestones, including buying a house and marriage.
Expenses, it seems, ultimately make prioritizing friendships more attractive for many Gen Zers.
"I don't want to go through the hoops and jumps of finding someone who ends up being worth it to go on a date with, instead of just somebody where it's a pleasant conversation for a couple of hours but nothing really comes out of it," Simpson said.
Budget alternatives and the battle against loneliness
Match's 2022 Singles in America study found daters spent on average $130 a month on dating — a 40% increase from a decade ago.
Nearly one-third of Gen Z respondents in the survey said they're more open to doing free activities on a date, going somewhere nearby to minimize gas costs, and swapping a restaurant for home-cooked meals.
More free or budget alternatives have emerged in recent months, in part to create opportunities to meet people — and bring together prospective partners. Price, for example, said she'd seen a sharp uptick in people close to her attending free social events.
Last year, Cliff Lerner founded Saturday, a social platform directed at bringing people together for free in-person hangouts. The app, he told Insider, has widened users' social circles and allowed some romances to bloom in casual settings.
"Gen Z wants to find people in natural, organic contexts as friends first, and if something romantic happens, that's great," Lerner said.
Andrew Yeung, 28 — the "Gatsby of Silicon Alley" — has produced over 100 in-person events, largely for Gen Z guests, across a handful of cities. Yeung told Insider that people who met at his events tended to know ahead of time whether they'd have overlapping interests with other guests.
Conventional dating platforms, he said, are more akin to fishing for partners with little prior knowledge.
Yeung, who doesn't make money from his events, said he uses "tactics to combat anxieties, the natural awkwardness of new, strange rooms, that allow people to bring out the best of themselves."
To Maxine Williams, 27, the creator of We Met IRL, which hosts speed-dating events for people ages 25 to 35, typical social options offer little beyond partying and networking. She wanted to host a low-budget, unconventional alternative where people could mingle.
"We want people to make connections in person, and we're just like, 'If you hit it off with someone, this is me giving you permission to ask for their number, and if they say no, that's fine since rejection is really normal,'" Williams told Insider.
Her events usually cost $25 a person, she said, and many participants say the experience is better — and cheaper — than dating apps, as they get the chance to have short conversations with people they may not have acknowledged online.
"We're not saying delete dating apps, but I think it's nice that if you're taking a break from a dating app but you still want to potentially date and go to this event, you will have 20 dates for $25," Williams said. "Pretty good deal in my opinion."
Have you stopped dating or gone on less dates because of rising costs? Have you looked into cheaper dating alternatives? Contact these reporters at nsheidlower@insider.com and prosen@insider.com.
This story was originally published on October 7, 2023 and most recently updated October 17, 2023.