DeuBetter Branding & Media
- Davrick Hayes left LA for Bismarck, North Dakota after he started experiencing panic attacks.
- Hayes says it's nice to be able to afford things, since moving to Bismarck.
- Though he enjoys living in Bismarck, Hayes says it lacks diversity and he plans to eventually leave.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Davrick Hayes, a 31-year-old quality assurance analyst and entrepreneur based in Bismarck, North Dakota. It's been edited for length and clarity.
I left Los Angeles in 2020 because it was killing me. My office commute was almost two hours one way, even though my job was just 15 miles from my home. The cost of living in Los Angeles is astronomical, and I had to live with my parents because I couldn't afford anything.
After I had a stress-induced seizure with a massive stint of anxiety and panic attacks, I saw a therapist and concluded that living in the LA-area was contributing to my health problems.
When I first decided to move, I looked into bigger cities so I wouldn't feel out of place, but I ended up looking for a city that wasn't nearly as big as LA. My other criterion was that I wanted to move to a place where I knew someone already.
I had a friend in Williston, North Dakota, so I chose to live in Bismarck, the capital of North Dakota — it ticked all my boxes.
The cost of living in Bismarck, North Dakota
It's obscenely cheap to live here and doesn't require a roommate just to afford a place. The apartment I first moved into was $800 bucks a month; the same apartment in LA would have been at least $2500.
I had a job lined up as soon as I moved out here, but it fell through because of COVID-19. The week I moved, the entire state went on lockdown. Even so, I've been happier since I moved here, and I now work remotely.
It's so nice to be able to afford things. After living here for about two years, I purchased a four-bedroom, two-bathroom home for just under $300,000.
Noise and air quality in Bismarck, North Dakota
Bismarck is a lovely place that's much slower than LA. It's also really clean compared to LA's much larger homeless population with the poorly maintained streets.
It even feels different to breathe here; the air smells different because there's less smog. Also, you only see a few stars in LA because of the light pollution, but when you look up at the sky here, you've got the whole Milky Way.
In LA, you get used to all that white noise, cars honking, people talking, and the hustle and bustle of life, but sometimes I can go outside in Bismarck and not hear a sound. It was a little disconcerting at first. I was so used to the noise pollution that I felt anxious, like something was wrong. But after I got used to the quiet, I enjoyed time outside.
The weather in Bismarck, North Dakota
When I moved to Bismarck, I was looking for a place that had all four seasons, instead of just summer, but the weather can get crazy here. Last winter, we almost broke our snowfall record — 101.2 inches of snow. Sometimes, I couldn't get out of my driveway or open my front door.
The temperature was in the negatives, we had blackouts and internet outages, and it got cold to the point where you couldn't go outside. The roads got so icy that the entire state was shut down for about a week straight.
Things to do in Bismarck, North Dakota
As far as meeting new people and finding interesting things to do, there's not much here. Luckily, my one friend in North Dakota later became my girlfriend, and we live together. We have a small circle of friends, and for fun, we'll take her dog for a walk, find a new place to eat, or just go to the mall to do some shopping.
The main attractions are bars, going to the river, or mudding — taking your truck into a muddy field and driving around. People love to go mudding, but it's not for me. I'd rather stay out of all the mud.
I've enjoyed my time in North Dakota, but I don't plan on staying
I feel as though there's heavy racism up here, and I don't like that. It's a red state and some people aren't very accepting of others who aren't Christian or Catholic, or who are people of color.
On several occasions, in the grocery store, I've overheard people talking bad about the people of color who are either shopping or working at the store — it's even worse when the worker doesn't speak fluent English.
Also, I'm agnostic and I don't get into religious arguments, but there was a post in our local reporting group asking about the interest for other non-Christian or Catholic religions. The responses I saw were largely negative, but I believe the messages have since been deleted.
I've seen countless Christian and Catholic churches in Bismarck and only one Jewish synagogue. That's the only non-Christian or Catholic worship space that I know of here.
I'm happier in Bismarck, but I'll always be drawn to LA
Even though things seem to be getting better in Bismarck, I prefer more diversity. If I decide to have a family, this is not where I'd want to raise them.
I'll always be drawn to Los Angeles because it's my home — where I was raised. I don't think it makes sense for anyone to live there now with how expensive it is, but I still miss it. The middle ground for me will probably be moving to a mini, more affordable version of LA, perhaps in Colorado or Utah.
There's so much to love about small-town life, and I've been so grateful to experience it, but I'm just a city boy at heart and will always long for it.