A LinkedIn conversation turned into what I thought was a job interview. It turned out to be more like a date – and left me feeling gross and dirty.

• Jenna Vaught was a college student using LinkedIn to get started with her career.
• But what she thought was a job interview turned out to be a country club lunch with an older man.
• "He knew he could do this. It just felt like I was a thing for him to play with," she says.

This is an as-told-to essay based on a transcribed conversation with Jenna Vaught about her experience of being baited on LinkedIn. Insider has verified her LinkedIn messages with the man as well as the details he posted on the site. The following has been edited for length and clarity.

A few years ago I was a college junior at Florida Gulf Coast University. I had just one more year to go before graduating with a bachelor's in marketing.

I was also working full time at a restaurant called the Capital Grille. It was a real "in spot" – I once met Judge Judy there. People who thought they were someone in Naples, Florida would go there and brag about it.

But graduation was coming up and I needed marketing experience. So I was looking for an internship to take that next career step.

I loved LinkedIn back then. I was one of the first of my friends to start using it and had cracked the code. If you can connect with one person from a bigger company then you can just keep networking. I really liked it for that reason and used it all the time to message people with careers questions or things for school projects.

Up to that point, all my experiences had been good. And then I had the most bizarre lunch of my life.

A new connection on LinkedIn

It was December 2020 when I was contacted by a wealth advisor on LinkedIn.

He said he was a regular at the Capital Grille and had spotted it on my profile. He asked if I could call him about an internship.

Though he worked at Merrill Lynch, he was looking for a personal marketing intern for financial conferences he ran.

Being 20 at the time, I was literally saying yes to everything because I needed to land anything I could get, plus having Merrill Lynch on my resumé would be a great step up. So I said, "yeah, I'll give you a call."

We had a few phone calls and messaged back and forth about the job. But he also asked a couple of times if I could get him reservations at the restaurant.

I looked him up on the restaurant's system to check he was who he said he was. As far as I could tell, everything on his LinkedIn profile, his name and position at Merrill Lynch, was all true.

He set a date for the job interview, but something wasn't right

He set a date and sent me a location. My generation doesn't really question things like that. We've been desensitized to meeting strangers on the internet.

But when I showed up it was at this posh country club on a lake in a gated community.

I remember just immediately regretting my outfit choice. It was a resort hotel filled with women in glamorous sundresses, and I was there in my slacks, a blouse, and little flats. I felt very self-conscious.

He must have been in his early forties and definitely had that frat boy personality. You can tell by the way some men carry themselves. They think they're the shit.

We sat down and he seemed to know everyone that worked there.

It was probably a quarter of the way through the lunch when I was watching him check out all the female servers, that I realized he wasn't really there to talk about the job.

It was all about him. I honestly can't even remember half of the conversations because my brain was flatlining from how uncomfortable it was.

I wanted to leave, but part of me still thought, "what if this is legit?"

There wasn't any physical hand-on-leg moments, but as a woman, the hairs on your neck stand up. I knew that something was weird about this.

We didn't talk about the internship until the lunch was basically over and I brought it up. Still hoping to impress him, I gave over all my ideas on outreach, social media marketing, LinkedIn mailing lists, and pamphlets.

I was still a student, but I knew what I was talking about and it felt good that someone was asking me my opinion on it.

That was the last I ever heard from him

By the end of the lunch, I was just trying to be nice, so that it would be over sooner. I never heard from him again and he disconnected with me on LinkedIn.

Looking back it seems like it was a power move. I was there and available, almost like a plaything. And he got my ideas for free. I don't know if he ever used them.

Twenty-year-old me wanted to post about it on LinkedIn or even go to his employer, but I didn't think I'd be taken seriously.

I just sent him a message saying that I felt disrespected. But as a college kid looking to start my professional life it was really discouraging.

There were lots of things that I questioned about why it didn't work out. Was it because I'm a woman? Was it because I'm young? Was I not attractive enough for this person to hire?

I kept making excuses for him, but now I realize this kind of experience just shouldn't happen.

I was 21 and he was 15 years older than me. We could have gone to a public place. But I was there and available, and he knew he could do this. It made me feel like I was a thing for him to play with.

I have no hatred towards men, but I just don't think that would happen to a man. And that's why it makes me feel gross and dirty and taken advantage of.

Now I work for women

In college LinkedIn was the only platform I could use to really find something, but now I can't rely on it, especially for networking. It's turned into just another Facebook.

But you still have to rely on these third party websites to help you find a job, which holds the same risks.

I value myself a lot more now than I did when I was younger and know that my time is also money. You shouldn't be exploited for being young and inexperienced.

Find employers that align with your values and don't go along with something if it doesn't feel right. You can always do things digitally before meeting them in person.

And if you do meet them, always have an exit plan.