My $540-a-night cabin on the world's largest cruise ship was shockingly small and disappointing

Wed, 02/14/2024 - 09:57

Royal Caribbean Icon of the Seas' ocean-view balcony cabin's bed and living room — I'm not sure a family of four could happily coexist in the $3,790 per person ocean-view balcony cabin on Royal Caribbean's new Icon of the Seas cruise ship.
Brittany Chang/Business Insider

I recently sailed on the world's largest cruise ship, Royal Caribbean's new Icon of the Seas.
I stayed in an ocean-view balcony cabin, which starts at $3,787 per person in 2024.
My stateroom was disappointing, and the bathroom was tiny — I'm not sure it would be comfortable for a family.

If you're assuming the new world’s largest cruise ship, Royal Caribbean’s Icon of the Seas, must have giant guest cabins, I'm here to give you a reality check.

You're wrong. So wrong.

Sure, if you’re shelling out over $100,000 a week for the ship’s most expensive Ultimate Family Townhouse suite, you’ll probably find the 2,523-square-foot, three-floor mansion perfectly comfortable.

But if you’re like me — a normie who can’t afford a seven-day vacation that costs more than a luxury car — your stateroom on the behemoth 1,198-foot, 20-deck ship might be smaller than you’d expect.

Royal Caribbean invited me on Icon of the Seas’ complimentary, three-night preview sailing in late January — a week before the ship’s official debut.

Icon of the Seas' outdoor decks — Royal Caribbean's giant Icon of the Seas cruise ship entered service on January 27.
Brittany Chang/Business Insider

I was assigned one of the ocean-view balcony cabins on deck 14, near the spa.

A cool 80% of its 2,805 cabins were designed for families — a sharp increase from previous vessels, Michael Bayley, president and CEO of Royal Caribbean International, told reporters.

People in a two-story room with a red slide. — The ship's most expensive Ultimate Family Townhouse was designed to be a private playground for children.
Brittany Chang/Business Insider

The cruise operator is going after multi-generational families. Makes sense — the Icon of the Seas looks like a giant floating amusement park.

But I’m not sure a family of four could peacefully coexist in my balcony cabin.

Royal Caribbean Icon of the Seas' ocean-view balcony cabin's bed — The cabin had a balcony, bed, living "room" with a closet, and a tiny bathroom.
Brittany Chang/Business Insider

I can be a picky cruise cynic. But I have a right to be disgruntled by a stateroom bathroom so small, it made a cryotherapy chamber look like a mansion.

Equally disgruntling could be its price: Icon’s ocean-view balcony cabins currently start at $3,787 per person in 2024.

Royal Caribbean Icon of the Seas' ocean-view balcony cabin's desk — The long desk had plenty of drawers and a hairdryer.
Brittany Chang/Business Insider

The mega-ship is spending its first year operating weeklong cruises from Miami to Mexico, the Caribbean, and Royal Caribbean’s private island, Perfect Day at CocoCay.

At least the stateroom guarantees great views of the ocean.

Royal Caribbean Icon of the Seas' ocean-view balcony cabin's balcony with furniture. — The 50-square-foot balcony was stocked with two chairs and a small table.
Brittany Chang/Business Insider

Some of the ship's balcony cabins face the interior, either onto Icon’s plant-filled Central Park or the colorful kid friendly Surfside neighborhood.

Thankfully, my 50-square-foot balcony — a fourth of the size of the cabin's interior — overlooked the ocean, serving as my meditative reprieve from the chaotic mega-ship.

But when I dragged myself back inside, my ocean breeze-induced peace was quickly replaced with a list of complaints.

an empty bed in Royal Caribbean Icon of the Seas' ocean-view balcony cabin — A heavy glass sliding door separated the balcony from the bed.
Brittany Chang/Business Insider

Two twin mattresses were pushed together to make the king-sized bed.

Unfortunately for my back pain, the hard ridge that marked where the two beds met made me feel like I was a princess sleeping on a pea.

It didn’t help that the sheets were unusually uncomfortable.

composite of the cabin TV and bedside table — The bed had an adjacent TV and bedside tables with outlets.
Brittany Chang/Business Insider

But I'll pretend my bed's view of the TV, which included Chromecast, makes up for this.

The hotel room at sea can sleep up to four travelers thanks to the living room’s sofa bed.

couch in Royal Caribbean Icon of the Seas' ocean-view balcony cabin — The cabin had quiet, neutral, and blue decor — a stark contrast to the rest of the colorful and loud ship.
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"Room" used loosely. Like most cruise cabins, it was just a couch and a desk with a vanity.

Not much to say here: The space wasn't a standout.

(I'm just saving my breath for all of my gripes with the bathroom.)

I’ve seen some small bathrooms. I live in a New York City apartment, after all.

the bathroom in Royal Caribbean Icon of the Seas' ocean-view balcony cabin — It might've been the smallest bathroom I've ever seen.
Brittany Chang/Business Insider

But the one in my stateroom made my apartment's box of a bathroom like a palatial retreat fit for a king (of a porcelain throne).

The room couldn't fit more than one person at a time. It could barely accommodate my bony elbows.

And the amenities fell short. I was hoping for more than a two-in-one body wash and shampoo.

Royal Caribbean Icon of the Seas' ocean-view balcony cabin's bathroom with a sink, storage, shower — The only standout feature was the bench inside the shower.
Brittany Chang/Business Insider

Some hair conditioner would’ve been nice, especially after a few hours at the ship’s chlorine-filled water park and hot tubs.

But I should’ve expected it — I had the same complaint when I sailed on Icon’s predecessor and the previous world’s largest cruise ship, Wonder of the Seas.

Is it too much to ask for bath towels that don’t pill all over your face? I have a skincare routine to upkeep here!

the only drawer inside Royal Caribbean Icon of the Seas' ocean-view balcony cabin — The drawer cut into the bathroom's entry door.
Brittany Chang/Business Insider

Problems aside, I'll admit the bathroom carried surprisingly decent storage: three sets of shelves and a deep drawer.

Ample storage should be a priority for any cruising family, especially in a small four-person cabin.

composite of Royal Caribbean Icon of the Seas' ocean-view balcony cabin's storage units — The storage options could make up for the cabin's sore points.
Brittany Chang/Business Insider

Thankfully, I have minimal complaints in this department.

Small shelves were subtly integrated near the TV, the desk had plenty of drawers, and the closet was, well, a closet.

But I, ever the opinionated, have a bone to pick with the latter.

metal baskets in the closet of Royal Caribbean Icon of the Seas' ocean-view balcony cabin — The metal baskets were an audio nightmare.
Brittany Chang/Business Insider

The wardrobe's metal bins let out ear-piercing screeches at every move. It was a lazy design decision, and I'm sure some cheap felt pads could've saved me a few winces.

In defense of Royal Caribbean, my balcony cabin did come with all the bare essentials.

Royal Caribbean Icon of the Seas' ocean-view balcony cabin's bed, living room — The cabin is 254 square-feet including the balcony.
Brittany Chang/Business Insider

And I'll admit I found myself retreating to my stateroom more times than I expected during my three nights on Icon.

The ship was overwhelming. My cabin was not.

But at $540-per-night and per-person, I had hoped for a near-perfect hotel room at sea.

wo-in-one body wash and shampoo in a shower — Bring your own conditioner: The shower had two-in-one body wash and shampoo.
Brittany Chang/Business Insider

The cost to vacation in Icon's balcony cabin is comparable to an ultra-luxury cruise ship.

Please, sir, I want some more square footage in the bathroom, towels that don't shed, a comfortable bed, and maybe even a drop of hair conditioner. (That's what Oliver Twist said, right?)

However, some traveling families could find this price justifiable.

Icon of the Seas' mini-golf course — The course puts a nautical spin on mini-golf.
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Cruises are often seen as a reasonable vacation value proposition.

Besides the cabin, the cost to sail on the mega-ship also includes fun nighttime entertainment, half of the ship’s restaurants, and activities like mini-golf.

So think of it this way: You’re not paying $3,790 per person to bicker with your kids about who gets to use the tiny bathroom first.

water park on Royal Caribbean Icon of the Seas — The water park has six slides, including what its operator is calling the tallest at sea.
Brittany Chang/Business Insider

You’re paying to spend your afternoons flailing around Icon of the Seas' six-slide water park and indulging in as many hot dogs as your heart desires.

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My $540-a-night cabin on the world's largest cruise ship was shockingly small a…