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- Jennifer Rozelle has been working in estate law for over a decade.
- She's witnessed some heartbreaking fights between families over inheritance.
- One pair of siblings even argued until they lost their inheritance to legal fees.
This as-told-to essay is based on a transcribed conversation with Jennifer Rozelle, 36, an attorney at the firm Indiana Estate & Elder Law, about seeing families receive inheritances in her line of work. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
I'm an attorney who practices exclusively in estate planning, elder law, and estate administration fields. I help people with planning for incapacity, death, and long-term care. I also work with family members of the deceased, helping them navigate the legal processes that occur after a person dies.
When a person dies, I represent the trustee or executor of their estate. My responsibility is to ensure that they follow the estate plan that the person who died created or, if the person didn't have an estate plan, that they follow intestacy laws, which will dictate who inherits what from the person who's passed.
I've been in this line of work since 2012 when I joined an Indiana-based law firm. Around five years ago, my husband, also an attorney, and I purchased the firm.
When I've dealt with inheritance at my job, I've noticed that putting money on the table changes people. I've seen it benefit a lot of people — they receive money or property they didn't have before — but I'd be remiss if I didn't recognize how many families end up fighting over it.
Families fight over property that is valuable — and not so valuable
My husband often says that dealing with estate planning documents is the easiest part of our jobs — It's the relationships and personalities involved that make it difficult.
In my experience, it's not even the amount of money that makes families fight. I've seen people bicker over personal property in mom or dad's house that isn't worth anything but has high sentimental value, like a family sword or jewelry. You can't always split this type of property between relatives.
I was once tasked with getting a valuation of a mother's wedding ring as two children were fighting over it. It turned out that the wedding ring was comprised of cubic zirconia, not real diamonds. Once that was discovered, neither wanted the ring.
Legal fees can end up consuming estates, so when estates have a significant amount of assets, there's a lot more time and room for families to argue.
Many years ago, I was involved in a case where two sisters were fighting, and their legal fees were consuming their estate balance. We were trying to get them to settle their dispute before they ran out of money, but one of the siblings looked us dead in the eye and said, "I would rather see you guys get that money than my sister." I will never forget the look on her face. In the end, the beneficiaries walked away with nothing. Litigation continued and consumed the entire estate balance.
Sometimes, you can tell from a mile away that a family doesn't get along and will argue, but some fights really do surprise you.
I once had a client who died with two properties, which went to his two children. Both children were in the room during previous meetings with the client and were very agreeable and amicable.
After their father died, the siblings began to argue over the properties; one wanted to sell both, and the other wanted to keep them. The one who wanted to sell was frustrated because their sibling, who wished to keep the properties, wasn't paying any of the bills.
I would never have thought in a million years that these two clients would have fought, but they both dug their heels in and went to court, where they were forced to sell the properties and split the money. They could have saved themselves a lot of time and money if they were more collaborative.
Grief impacts the way people handle inheritance issues
It breaks my heart to see families fighting over inheritance. We spend countless hours creating a plan so that nothing bad will happen, but when humans, relationships, and personalities enter into the equation, unpleasant surprises can occur.
I once had a client who was estranged from one of her children. She anticipated that her estranged child would kick up a fuss about inheritance down the line. She had written a letter before she died explaining why she disinherited the estranged child and gave it to me to keep until she died.
After she died, the estranged child was the first person to call my office. I gave the letter to her, and she caused an absolute scene in my office. There was a lot of screaming and expletives, but at the end of the day, I'm glad it happened in my office and not in front of her sibling.
Grief is very much at play in a lot of inheritance disputes. People can be in a very emotional and fragile state. Because I'm naturally a glass-half-full kind of person, speaking about death with people all day doesn't really impact me negatively. I'm used to the fact that people might react in a way that I don't agree with. I'd be doing them a disservice if I didn't extend them a little grace while they are navigating tough times, but it does become challenging when people are disrespectful.
I've also seen that inheritance has the power to do good
I think a lot of people assume that inheritances can impact families for the worse. People want to hear the juicy, dramatic stories, but I've mostly found that bickering families will calm down eventually and resolve things.
I've also had the pleasure of seeing how inheritance can have a positive impact. I've seen beneficiaries who didn't expect to inherit anything from someone receive a surprise check, or money being given to charitable organizations.
One client I had didn't have anyone close to her to leave money to, as her spouse and child had both died before her. She ended up leaving around $7 million to five charitable organizations. I got to be the person calling some of these organizations and telling them they'd be receiving money from this person's estate.
Seeing this kind of good come out of inheritances just fills my cup. I think it's important not to forget how inheritance can also change lives for the better.