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- I have enough money for a 20% down payment, but I'd have to make too many compromises to own a home.
- I wish homeownership were easier, but renting isn't holding me back from succeeding financially.
- This article is part of "My Financial Life," a series helping people live and spend better.
In the US, the path to financial success seems set in stone: Get a degree, get a steady job, and buy a house. I was on this path myself, checking off the first two boxes on a predictable timeline. Yet at 36, married and with a toddler, I'm still renting a two-bedroom basement apartment in Seattle — not because I have to but because it's the best choice for us right now.
Despite the deeply ingrained cultural norm of glorifying homeownership, I've decided not to feel bad about renting. It affords us multiple luxuries: living in a beautiful neighborhood we could not afford to buy in, being near family and friends, paying far less in rent than we would on a mortgage, and spending almost no time or money on home maintenance.
I have enough for a down payment, even with rising housing costs
Technically, I have enough saved to afford a 20% down payment on the average American home — about $433,000 as of April, according to Redfin. This is an incredible privilege. While I did save quite a bit myself, the only reason I can even entertain the idea of owning is that I was left an inheritance two years ago.
As soon as I had enough, I started looking into buying. But then interest rates went up, while houses did not get cheaper, and supply did not increase. A typical monthly mortgage payment in our area is now higher than $5,000, and a recent report from Zillow found that to afford the typical home in Seattle, a household needed to earn more than $200,000 a year.
Meanwhile, I had a baby and shifted to freelance journalism, making my income more precarious.
So I faced the facts: We could afford to buy a house but not in our neighborhood, which is where I grew up and where my extended family still lives. Anywhere in the area, the ownership costs — including a mortgage, homeowner's insurance, and property taxes — would be far higher than our rent.
I'm not interested in compromising on my home
Right now, we have plenty of extra cash for fun social outings and small indulgences. That would not be the case if we owned. Factor in unforeseen expenses such as repairs, and we'd have to pinch pennies ruthlessly. In this season of life, when my kid is so young, and I'm still navigating a new career, living on such a tight budget seems deeply stressful.
While there are other compromises we could make, none of them seem worth it. We toured a townhouse awhile back that cost $400,000, but it was so cramped and charmless that the thought of spending our hard-earned savings on it was demoralizing. If I'm going to commit hundreds of thousands of dollars, I want to at least like the place.
Leaving the city is another option. The problem is, we love where we live, with its tree-lined streets and nearby waterfront. Plus, being near trusted relatives feels like a priceless resource now that we have a child.
Alternatively, I could get a job that pays more. But I love my work. It allows me to set my own hours, work from anywhere, and prioritize parenting at a time when my child has medical needs that require my attention. I earn more than enough for my modest needs.
I don't like the state of homeownership — but I like my choices
It wasn't always like this. In just 10 years, median home prices in Washington have increased by more than 170%. The housing-affordability crisis is largely a failure of policy. It's not right that gainfully employed people can't afford to buy a house in many cities anymore. We need more housing.
While I wish owning were more accessible, I also wish we had policies that made long-term renting an easier financial choice for those who prefer it for lifestyle reasons. Honestly, that would include me.
I write about houses for work, and I have interviewed hundreds of people about their remodels and DIY projects. Many of them see this as a labor of love, but there's no denying that it is labor. There's always something that needs fixing, painting, repairing, or updating. It's fascinating to learn about, but it makes me appreciate the relative ease of renting. Rather than spending my Saturdays at the hardware store, I can just hang out and relax.
I understand the financial case for homeownership, so if it makes sense in the future, I'd be happy to change my mind. However, it's not the only way to build financial security. We max out our tax-sheltered retirement accounts and put most of our money in a high-yield savings account with Betterment Cash Reserve. Ultimately, what I've realized is that a house is not merely a financial decision. It's my home, where I spend most of my time. If enjoying my home means renting for now, I'll continue to do that without shame.