As a legacy name in the world of online dating, AdultFriendFinder has a huge community of singles and non-monogamous users looking for steamy fun, but that doesn’t mean using the site is always straightforward. On the contrary, the site has been around for so long that the web interface sometimes feels dated and counterintuitive, with key features or functions buried beneath multiple menus and sub-menus.
Making the most of AFF takes some trial and error, or at least an experienced hand to guide you through. That's why we've outlined four essential tips below to improve your AFF experience and help you to connect with more people for more kink-based fun. That said, it also helps to keep an open mind about it all. If you enter AFF with a narrow idea of exactly what you want, you'll likely be disappointed. But if you start your search with genuine curiosity and just go along for the ride (no pun intended), you can discover new things about yourself — and intimate pleasure — in the process.
Here are four essential steps for getting the most out of your AdultFriendFinder experience:
Fill out your full AFF profile
Sure, this is an obvious step with any and every online dating service, but it’s even more important on AFF because the site doesn’t entirely rely on a carousel-style presentation of dating profiles like other apps. Everything from your age to your gender to your sexuality to your list of personal kinks can help make you more discoverable to other AFF members, so the less you fill out, the harder it is for the site to make your profile discoverable.
This is true even if your personal kink list is short or leans towards the conventional, or if it’s exhaustive and leans towards the obscure and exotic; trust us when we say there are people out there who are looking for the very same quirks and kinks and sexuality specifics, so it's worth taking your time to be precise here. It can pay serious dividends in the long run.
Also, don’t sleep on videos. Unlike many dating sites that allow only photos, AFF allows its members to upload short videos to their profile. This is a fantastic way of not only showing others that you’re a real person but also highlighting your personality in a different way. You can also speak on some aspect of your personality that isn’t covered by the generic profile options. Just be wary of putting nude content upfront in your profile.
Verify your AFF account as soon as possible
AdultFriendFinder throws up very few barriers to account creation. That makes it very easy for anyone to make an account, but it also means there is a huge amount of spam and bot accounts lingering on the site. To combat this, they’ve also created a profile verification system using the Confirm ID service.
It requires you to share government ID for cast iron verification, but the benefits to your profile will give you major peace of mind. It means photo authentication, age confirmation, and location verification, all of which help others trust that your profile is authentic. When the process is complete, you'll receive a blue checkmark underneath your profile photo, just to the right of your username, which helps people identify your profile at a glance and boosts your visibility in search results, as preference is given to verified users during searches.
Be selective with your search criteria
If you use the site’s search function, you’ll find that you can be extremely specific and selective. And if you know exactly who and what you want, by all means, narrow your search, but if you’re on AFF to be surprised, it’s also worth being less selective from time to time.
For example, if you know you want an in-person date for next week, it obviously makes sense to narrow your location search to people who live near you. But what if you don’t know exactly what you want, or if you’re open to a sultry chat with a stranger half a world away? In that case, distance is irrelevant and you should consider turning that filter off.
On the other hand, there are quite a few filters that are turned off by default that we actually recommend you turn on. For example, the default profile filter shows you all people who have bothered to upload photos, but while that’s a good start, it’s not enough to help you wade through the huge number of users. We strongly recommend narrowing it down to Verified/Confirmed users, since those people all proved their identity the same way you did (see above). That way you can trust that your search results and potential connections are 100 percent legit.
Another recommended filter is the Last Visit, which by default is set to "All." But lots of people create an account and then rarely check it, or will go inactive for weeks or months at a time for whatever reason, so it’s a good idea to specify accounts that have been active in the last month. Otherwise you risk messaging accounts that you'll likely never hear back from.
Explore the live-chat communities
AdultFriendFinder isn’t a traditional dating website, so you shouldn’t use it like one. The search-and-swipe dating app method is tried and true, but it’s also a bit played out, and one of AFF’s biggest strengths is its larger community offerings. There's more to it than swiping left or right.
There are lots of forums to explore, all based around common interests (though you should know that some of these interests — or kinks — are not so common), or you can venture into a user’s live stream and interact with them and others there. AFF even has a dedicated Stories section, where users can share their memories or try their hand at writing erotica. That's all well and good for anyone with a knack for the written word but if you're more visual, you can set up a webcam stream and invite others to tune in.
For all of the above, AFF tracks not only which stories/streams/group chats are new but also those that are trending, which makes it very easy to jump into a popular discussion or keep up with the latest site news.
Upgrade your AFF membership tier
As with other dating sites and apps, you only get the most out of AFF when you sign up for a paid membership. It is entirely possible to use AFF and interact without handing over your credit card information, but the site’s best features and functions are paywalled. And it has to be said that the advantages — visibility, communication options, and site functionality are — all just too good to ignore.
Gold and VIP members receive special icons on their profiles, and these profiles are given priority in every search, based on any criteria, and because there are thousands of potential profile options for almost every search criteria that isn’t location-based, it’s very difficult to stand out from the crowd on AFF as a free user.
Additionally, if you fork out for the upgraded VIP membership, you’ll unlock an entire section dedicated exclusively to VIPs. It's the dating site equivalent of entering the velvet-roped area of a night club; you'll find the most glamorous people hiding there. VIP members even get additional points to spend on digital gifts or lavish on live streamers who catch your eye. This is another great way of standing out from the crowd.
The learning curve on AdultFriendFinder is steeper than most other dating sites, and much steeper than most dating apps, but if you follow the above tips and you're willing to experiment, you’ll encounter more than a few fun and sexy surprises along the way.