Group of friends paying check at a restaurant.
Discussions around how to split a restaurant check are blowing up.
  • Splitting the check is one of the most controversial subjects around group dining.
  • Sentiment in favor of paying for your own meal has been ramping up on TikTok lately.
  • It seems the even split is falling out of favor, and 2024 is becoming the year of individual bills.

Paying for the bill at the end of a meal has long been an elephant in the room around a group dinner table.

Will you split evenly or pay separately? The decision is notorious for stirring debate, and even ignited an argument on an episode of "Friends."

Recently, TikTok users have been gaining traction with the idea that people shouldn't feel guilty about paying for their own food and not splitting the check. This argument isn't entirely new on the app; creators have been making this point since at least last year, but a wave of new videos has brought this discussion into the spotlight.

Many of these posts are in the form of first-person testimony, a format that has not always proven to be reliable. But the passionate reaction these stories get, often drumming opposition to bill splitting, indicates it's an increasingly common sentiment perhaps exacerbated by the economy's fragility and new technology allowing people to easily pay for their food separately.

In 2024, it's every diner for themselves.

Diners say splitting the bill can be unfair

Some of the recent bill-splitting discourse posts are grouped under the hashtag "groupdinner," which has 9.6 million views.

Many of the top videos are from the last year and feature people talking about not wanting to help pay for others' meals by dividing the check. While the videos share a variety of experiences, the throughline is that people are fed up with the status quo of splitting meals — especially if others are pushing back.

One of the most popular TikTok videos on this subject features a user who goes by @finegalnopimple calling out diners who make everyone split the check evenly when they order significantly more or much more expensive food.

"I feel like some people use this as a way to get over on others," she said in the video, which has received over 3.2 million views since it was posted on January 17.

@finegalnopimple

I don’t care if it’s a birthday dinner either- I am NOT splitting the bill evenly- don’t invite me then 😭 #dinners #groupdinners #birthdaydinners #splittingthebill #splittingthecheck #dinnerdates #goingouttoeat #fyp #foryou

♬ original sound - finegalnopimple

A wave of commenters agreed with the sentiment: some said they wanted to pay for their own food so they weren't taken advantage of and disrespected, while others said they were tired of being called "childish" or "stingy" because they prefer getting separate checks.

In another viral clip, which has been viewed over 2 million times since it was posted on January 15, TikToker @remiandryan described a scenario in which she said she was asked by the host to pay $150 at a $50-per-head steakhouse birthday party because other guests left early without paying. Many commenters expressed outrage at the idea.

@remiandaryan

I always ask before we even order how the bill will be handled or I dont order at all. #birthday #dinner #resturaunt #ettiquette #groupdinner #large #groups #fyp

♬ original sound - 🦕Raising Autistic🦖

While some users have commented on these videos saying they feel comfortable sharing the bill in specific circumstances (like with longtime friendships), the new consensus seems to be paying for one's own meal.

"I am not discussing nothing," one top comment on @remiandryan's video said. "I am paying for what I ate."

New technology could be a reason for the shift against bill-splitting

Splitting a restaurant check evenly regardless of people's orders has historically been perceived as the norm in certain social circles, perhaps especially in the US.

A Dutch fintech company warned people not to be surprised if their American friends want to split the bill evenly in a May 2023 article, and the Louisiana Federal Credit Union stated online that some restaurants will refuse to provide separate checks for customers.

Nick Leighton, who co-hosts the etiquette advice podcast "Were You Raised by Wolves?" told Business Insider that it makes sense that people are beginning to question it.

"An invitation is not an invoice and people are simply tired of feeling fleeced," Leighton said.

But there could be more to the sudden disdain for spending more than necessary.

On TikTok, videos about the rising cost of living are increasingly popular — people have shared their struggles to make ends meet despite having stable jobs, and videos about the cost of everyday groceries can attract hundreds of thousands of viewers. In response, some say they want to normalize cutting down on spending rather than glorifying extravagance on social media.

In addition, the proliferation of payment apps like Venmo and Splitwise drive a more individualized approach to spending by allowing people to split bills easily, some people argue.

Venmo "changes friendships and makes them more transactional," one teacher told The New York Times in 2017, adding, "It's nickel-and-diming everything, literally."

In 2022, Forbes reported that Americans are relying on these apps due to economic pressures.

A survey of 1,000 Americans by Forbes Advisor and OnePoll showed that 47% of respondents are using payment apps to "split bills in ways they normally wouldn't due to inflation," the outlet reported.

If getting a separate check appeals to you, there's good news on the etiquette front

If the TikTok comments are anything to go by, not everyone feels comfortable with people paying for their orders separately.

"I agree to a group dinner, knowing the cost a.k.a. splitting the bill. It's like a social fee," one commenter wrote on @finegalnopimple's video.

It's also not always possible to pay just for what you ordered — some restaurants won't allow a large number of checks because it can disrupt the flow of service, not to mention risks "becoming a real pain in your server's ass," according to 2018 reporting from Eater.

Leighton, the etiquette podcast host, told Business Insider that it's reasonable to split the bill with buddies if everyone's orders come out to similar prices: "Ultimately at the end of a lifetime of friendship, it'll all even out," he said.

But if they don't, Leighton said it's "not outside the bounds of etiquette" to ask for separate checks, and that if the restaurant can't do that, the burden falls on the person who organized the event to handle the bill with the venue and then get reimbursed by their guests. Leighton recommended an app called Plates, which lets users determine how much someone owes based on what they ordered, for splitting bills fairly.

In sticking to etiquette norms when paying for one's own meal, it's crucial that guests repay their portion promptly.

"It's super rude to ever make someone chase you for money you rightly owe," Leighton told BI. "Those who don't pay their debts promptly should be removed from any future guest lists."

More than anything, communication between the hosts and guests is essential and can help thwart nightmare bill-splitting mishaps like the ones described in the viral TikTok videos.

If you're into planning group dinners, you can avoid becoming viral fodder, Leighton said, by telling guests ahead of time if there will be a cost associated with the event, so they can assess their finances and decide whether or not to attend.

Just don't be surprised if this year, requests for separate checks come with the RSVP.

Read the original article on Business Insider