The Tooth Fairy is getting out of control at nearly 6 bucks a pop. Parents — let's band together to push that down to $1.

• The going rate for the Tooth Fairy is $5.84 per tooth.
• But some parents — uh, I mean Fairies if any kids are reading — are going overboard with lavish gifts and $100 bills.
• We need to shut this whole Tooth Fairy thing down until we can figure out what's going on.

I try to avoid grumbling about "Back in MY day" too often since it would always end up in a dark place where I'm trying to explain to Gen Z people that Fred Durst was, like, really, really famous for a few years.