Courtesy of Leigh Henderson
- As an HR professional of 20 years, Leigh Henderson has seen many employees make workplace mistakes.
- She emphasizes that building a relationship with your manager is crucial for career success.
- Effective communication and workplace allies are also essential for avoiding trouble.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Leigh Henderson, the 42-year-old CEO of HR Manifesto based in San Antonio. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I worked as an HR leader for nearly 20 years, supporting a handful of Fortune 100 organizations before starting my online community, HR Manifesto, and podcast, HR Besties.
I've seen people get in trouble in various ways at work — like having sexual relations in the office, starting affairs, or trusting a 'work bestie' who's sharing your secrets with your boss.
These things happen rarely, but most commonly, getting in trouble at work involves these three things.
1. Not building a relationship with your manager
One issue that often gets people in trouble is not prioritizing their relationship with their manager. I've seen it repeatedly: managers and employees just couldn't get along, so the employee wanted to avoid the manager altogether.
Your manager makes key decisions such as promotions, PIPs, terminations, bonuses, merit increases, and more. When you don't put effort into that relationship, it can lead to trouble.
I've had managers come to me and say, "I don't like this employee." Then, when I'd ask why, they would say, "He doesn't seem to like me." To me, that's on the leader, but not all leaders are good leaders, and on your end, you want to do what you can.
One way to prioritize your relationship with your manager is to have a 'get to know me' conversation. In that meeting, you can ask work-related questions like: "How do you like to be communicated with?" Then, share your preferences, too. Also, if your manager doesn't have a weekly one-on-one with you, try to set one up.
Let your manager know you'd like to stay connected to ensure they understand what you're up to and are on the right track. This will then be your opportunity to get any important company downloads from your manager and ensure you're headed in the right direction.
2. Not communicating or miscommunicating
People often get in trouble for saying things they shouldn't at work. I've seen situations where someone cussed someone out over email, creating a record trail you don't want to have.
I worked with someone who would put 'FU' in the subject line of their emails. After a while, I realized they were using it as an acronym for 'following up.' I had no idea because he wasn't using a slash between the letters. In the absence of information, people may assume that you're a bad or rude person, and those things can accidentally get you in trouble if you aren't careful.
If you know you aren't good at communicating something, you should share that with your coworkers by saying something like: "I'm not good with pleasantries over digital communications, so please don't be offended." While I don't believe it's always necessary to have small talk before every interaction, if you're talking digitally, I'd at least say "hello" before requesting favors.
3. Alienating yourself from the group
You want to create allies in the workplace — people who can protect your name in rooms you aren't in. This becomes harder when you alienate yourself from the group or show no interest in collaborating with others.
Even if you're great at your job, if nobody knows you, you become harder to champion. You might miss out on important information, fail to build relationships, and be seen as difficult to work with. This will get you in trouble if you want to keep your job and can hurt your chances of getting promoted.
Volunteer in meetings, share your ideas openly, and suggest solutions. You can also step into the break room for a few minutes and try to talk to a few people a day. If you work remotely, you can try to have a one-on-one with your coworkers (just like with your manager).
Connecting with coworkers who can keep you grounded is also good for your mental health and well-being. If you know a teammate doesn't have your best interest at heart, I wouldn't overshare, but I'd at least try to stay connected and have a neutral relationship at a minimum.
Be mindful of who you can trust at work, protect yourself, and communicate well.