sturti
- Trying to secure a first job can be a great learning experience for a teen.
- But it can also be a tough process, and it's tempting for parents to step in and take over.
- Experts say offering encouragement is always good, but parents should avoid applying for teens.
Job or internship experience is key to setting young people up for success in their future careers.
But finding a role that's a good fit and then securing an offer isn't an easy task at any age and can be even more difficult for teens entering the workforce for the first time.
While there are ways parents can be helpful when it comes to helping teens navigate the process of job-searching, completely taking over — no matter how much you may want to — can actually be detrimental, according to people who hire teens. Here's how to support your teen during their search for a new job while still letting them do the heavy lifting.
Be encouraging but realistic about your teen's job goals
Knowing that someone believes in you, especially an important person in your life, can make a world of difference, particularly to a young person navigating big challenges, such as securing a first job.
Victor Lee, the owner of two Massachusetts locations of Code Ninjas, a coding franchise that teaches coding to kids through video games, told Business Insider that parents helping their children secure employment should prioritize support and encouragement so their children feel they can do it.
While letting your teen know you believe in them is a key step in helping them secure a job, it's important that you also consider the reality of the workforce they are entering.
Grace Manning, the director of employer and alumni relations at Hopeworks, a social enterprise providing young people 17-26 with paid work experience and work development training, told Business Insider that she encourages young people to find a happy medium between their dream job and positions that actually exist in the market.
Manning told BI that she views centering honesty and transparency with the young people she works with as important. For example, Manning told Business Insider that if a young person tells her they're interested in creative positions such as becoming a graphic designer, she might respond, "Graphic design is largely going away as a field in a lot of senses, but how can we look at other fields that will use the same creative thinking like UX roles, UI roles, even quality assurance, just to get your foot in the door?"
Manning won't discourage someone from a goal they're truly passionate about and said she'll offer support while still being transparent about the realities of the field. She just wants to do her best not to set them up for disappointment in the long run. "It's totally possible that someone can go into that position, and we can talk about ways that you could pursue that, but let's also talk about what the market looks like," Manning said.
Manning also told BI about the importance of offering consistent support and encouragement, even if their timeline for securing a job is taking longer than they had hoped.
"If it's taking them a few months to find a job, that's super normal, and it's not because of them. They're doing all the right things. They're putting the work forward," Manning said.
Allow them to do the work themselves
"Acts of service" is not one of the five love languages without reason. You may find it commonplace to show your teen your love by helping them in multiple areas of their lives. But there's a difference between being a helpful voice as they navigate securing a job for the first time and doing all the heavy lifting for them.
"I think that the nature of a lot of people — not just parents, but adults — who are trying to help and mentor younger generations is they are really empathetic and passionate about supporting those younger generations. And sometimes what that looks like is doing things for them, and they don't realize they're doing it for them," Manning said.
There's an old proverb about why it's better to teach someone to fish than fish for them, and that definitely applies here.
"They'll say, 'Let's look at your résumé together,' but they're the ones with their hands on the keyboard rewriting their résumé, or, 'Let's look at some jobs,' but they're the ones that are pulling the jobs and sending the job descriptions to that young person," Manning continued.
Manning told Business Insider that the problem with parents intervening in their teen's job process to the extent they often do, intentionally or unintentionally, is that they are not allowing teens to develop the skills to secure subsequent positions, regardless of whether taking over for them is successful in helping them secure their first job.
"I've talked to other franchise owners who say they'll never hire a teen if their mom or dad comes into the center and applies for them. While I try to never say never, we've had two or three instances where parents sort of volunteered their teens to work at our center, and we've found in those instances, their engagement was far less than if the teens went through the process of applying for the job, doing the interview, and keeping themselves accountable for that entire process," Lee said. Plus, kids who go through the process of attaining a role themselves are likely to be more invested in the role they secure.
Parents have the tricky task of transitioning from doing practically everything for their child in infancy to still providing guidance but also allowing their kid to do things for themselves. It may not be an easy transition, but it's an important one to make in multiple areas of your child's life. While your support is an important part of helping your teen get their first job, the responsibility of securing that position is ultimately their own.