As a recent college grad, I applied to nearly 90 jobs, and I never heard back from a majority of them. I didn't think it would be this difficult.

• I graduated from the University of Chicago last year.
• After applying to nearly 90 jobs and hearing back from some, I felt frustrated and confused. 
• I landed a great job finally, but the search process was a surprising struggle.

I started off my senior year at the University of Chicago unsure about exactly what I wanted to do in my career, but I felt optimistic about my professional future. That optimism would be short-lived.

With a new spreadsheet grandly entitled "The Job Search," I began compiling a list of interesting opportunities and sending out cover letters and résumés. Each line in my spreadsheet felt like progress toward a promising and exciting future.

But stress started to build in January 2022 — the year I would be graduating. I still didn't have a job lined up.

Something strange was also happening with my tracking spreadsheet. While some of the jobs now had "rejected" in the status column, many of them remained at "submitted." These were jobs I'd applied to months prior, and I hadn't heard anything since getting an automated "we have received your application" message.

In the end, I applied to 86 jobs and never heard back from about 60 of them. I never anticipated applying to jobs would be this difficult.

While filling out my spreadsheet had begun with optimism and a sense of progress, each new job application felt futile

It was the same dance every time: I would find a job posting, go through the application motions, and submit without any sense of joy, hope, or excitement. Many of these jobs showed hundreds of candidates had already applied — within just a few days or even hours of the job being posted. 

Even when I did hear back from a company for a first or even second interview, there usually was no follow-up — for weeks, months, or ever. Once, I made it to a final round interview, taking time off from another job and traveling for 30 minutes, only to be told afterward that they wouldn't be hiring anyone after all. They thanked me for my time.

Instead of feeling excited, I felt frustrated, embarrassed, and increasingly desperate. I widened my search again and again, the job descriptions becoming more and more abstract and further away from what I had thought I was looking for. As months passed, the feeling grew heavier as campus conversations grew increasingly laden with post-graduation questions and plans. I felt I had nothing to contribute.

I checked my email constantly, hoping for not just good news but also any news. I felt like I was applying into a void, throwing my accomplishments, background, hopes, and dreams into the world with nothing to even confirm my existence as a respected candidate. 

Graduation day came, and with it, my worst nightmare came to pass: I'd be graduating without a job lined up

In 2022, I walked across the stage to get my diploma. Graduating college without a job lined up was one of the hardest things I'd ever done. I graduated from a selective college where many of my friends had jobs lined up before we even started our senior year. Some had plans to work at the top banks and consulting firms. 

Unlike most of my peers, I felt I had nothing to look forward to and a murky sense of accomplishment because, what did my graduation mean if I couldn't find a job? It also meant I needed to find some way of making money in a new city immediately.

For the entirety of my college experience, I didn't focus too much on the after-college part because I thought that doing well in my classes meant that the after part would come easily. I never had trouble passing my classes and impressing teachers; getting a job didn't seem like it could be much different. I was wrong.

Less than a month after graduating, I finally had a job

My new manager called me with the job offer while I was out on a run, and as soon as the call ended, I burst into tears in the middle of the park. I felt lighter than I had in a year.

The job I ended up taking was a good one — much more in line with my career goals than others I'd applied to in my wild and desperate flurry of applications. I was actually offered two jobs that week and had two more final interviews scheduled, so I was able to feel a sense of control in the end.

While each rejection hurt, it was the deafening silence that made my chest ache the most. It kept me up late at night as I tried to figure out a solution beyond "keep applying, keep hoping." It felt like there was nothing at all I could do or control. 

So to all rising seniors out there, or anyone applying to jobs, I want to offer this advice: Whatever rejections you face along the way, remember that you always deserve more than a "we thank you for your application" email.