Courtesy Nicole Findlay
- Originally, I didn't plan to have an only child. But now that I do, I'm glad.
- The benefits of having only one kid are amazing. My son and I get plenty of quality time together.
- I also have more time for myself.
I didn't plan to have an only child. In fact, I was pregnant twice. The first time, I miscarried. The second time, I had a healthy pregnancy that resulted in a perfect baby boy, but for the first six months of that pregnancy, I struggled mentally. After a loss, the second pregnancy didn't seem real.
While pregnant, I heard myself on more than one occasion saying, "If I have a baby," instead of "When the baby comes," almost like I didn't want to get my hopes up, just in case. It wasn't until my final trimester that I relaxed and felt optimistic about my future as a mom.
As soon as my son arrived, my husband and I found our groove as a little family of three. We never considered adding another to our brood, apart from our beautiful 70-lb puppy.
To be honest, I'm not sure if my miscarriage had anything to do with me not wanting to go through another pregnancy. What I do know, though, is that I have absolutely zero regrets. As a mom to a now 7-year-old, one child is absolutely the right choice for me.
I love the time I get with my son
I spend a lot of quality time with my son. If I had to split my time with another child, that might not be the case. I know I'm biased, but my son is really cool. His humor, interests, and style are changing all the time, and I love that I get a front-row seat to his continuous growth. Hanging out with him is my favorite thing to do.
Travel is easier and cheaper
Obviously, by choosing to have only one child, our expenses are lower, which allows us to travel more. The overall cost wasn't the reason why we didn't have a second child, but the extra money is definitely a benefit.
As a travel writer, I love to explore new places. My son and I can share a suitcase, my family fits nicely into one hotel room, and we don't have to consider a younger sibling's nap schedule when we jet off on adventures.
We save on everything from planes and trains to meals and admission prices to events. This allows us to travel more frequently and do more wherever we go. And I believe sharing the experience of travel brings the three of us closer.
I also get more time for myself to do the things I love
Having more time to myself means I get to do things that make me feel like me, which often means exercise. Spending time moving makes me a better mom. When I carve out time for fitness, I'm happier, healthier, and less anxious.
It makes me more patient, confident, and motivated. I found it extremely hard to squeeze in full workouts when my son was a baby. With a supportive partner and as my son is getting older, it's so much easier for me to pop out for a run or jump on my bike.
I play more
A family member once told me, "An only child is a lonely child." I don't believe that's necessarily true. However, I do find myself jumping off the couch and joining him when he's playing by himself. Whether shooting hoops in the backyard, building forts, or playing with figurines, I play, too. And it turns out it's actually pretty fun. When he's with other kids, I don't participate as much.
There's no sibling rivalry
I'm glad I don't have to experience sibling rivalry with my little one. Sure, I know it has benefits, but having a sister or a brother isn't the only way to learn to navigate competitive social situations.
Inevitably, at times, my son quarrels with friends, cousins and classmates. These arguments teach him to communicate effectively, be assertive, problem-solve, and compromise. After valuable lessons are learned, it's nice to escape back to our own house where there's no one to fight with. That is, until he becomes a teenager.