Kayla Mendez
- Ashley Couto, a former COO, quit her high-paying job due to overwhelming stress and anxiety.
- After years of overwork, she wanted a better work-life balance and took a new fully remote role.
- Now, she earns less but enjoys a happier life, living with her aunt and saving for retirement.
Somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, on a flight back to Montreal after my 10-day luxury trip to Paris in 2023, I realized I needed to quit my multiple-six-figure job as a Chief Operating Officer at a coaching company.
I spent my entire trip worried and bothered by Discord notifications from my team about trivial things.
Stress and not having time to cook for five years, while I pulled 60+ hour weeks, added 20 pounds yearly to my body. I cried almost daily and got so anxious that my tongue and hands regularly went numb.
My entire life had become work, and I didn't want to live that way
I wanted to be a person who slept eight hours a night, had hobbies, and paid attention in conversations with the people I cared about.
It's been over a year since I quit, and I'm still in therapy, unpacking the mental and emotional damage from that job. I only stayed for as long as I did because I thought that was as good as it would ever get for me.
I had to take a drastic pay cut after I quit, but I don't regret it
When I left, recruiters weren't chasing after me, even though I have 20 years of marketing and design experience, including in director and C-suite positions. My degrees are in art history and journalism — I'm not your typical Fortune 500 or tech startup candidate.
I also need to work remotely due to a chronic health condition that makes walking difficult and driving impossible.
After two months of applying to over 150 jobs, I was hired as a general manager in the hospitality industry. I know how lucky I am to have a fully remote job where I can clock out at 4 p.m. and not bring the day's stresses with me. I'm also a contract AI marketing instructor and a freelance writer.
Combined, I still only make about a third of my former salary, but I'm a lot happier now. I've found everything I was searching for a year ago and am content with where I am.
My mental peace is worth a lot more to me than money.
I wasn't willing to spend almost a third of my new salary on rent
At my old job, I didn't think twice about signing a lease on a $1,650-a-month apartment with 18-foot ceilings in Montreal. Before that, I'd paid $2,600 for a smaller, furnished condo in Toronto, so it felt like a deal.
It was a dream apartment, but as soon as I quit, making sure I could pay the rest of my lease became my top priority. When my renewal offer arrived in February for $1,695, I knew it was time to take a hard look at my priorities: Did I value the humble flex of being able to say I live in a converted textile factory loft, or did my financial focus need to be elsewhere?
I chose to build up my savings account toward retirement. I started looking for new apartments, but I couldn't find anything that wasn't dingy or old for the amount I was willing to spend. I wasn't willing to move in with a stranger, either.
Moving in with my aunt made sense for both of us
Ashley Couto
My aunt is my best friend — I think we make the 30+ year age gap in our friendship work because she's young at heart, and I have the hobbies and some of the same physical limitations as someone older. We lived together for five years before I moved to Toronto in 2020.
She's nearing retirement, which will cut her monthly income by about 50%. It was stressing her out.
In addition to my rent, I used to pay about $250 a week for food delivery, $150 a month for cleaning, and roughly $160 a month for Uber rides to and from my aunt's place, which totaled about $2,985 for my basic monthly expenses.
I pay my aunt $500 to rent a room in her condo in the suburbs of Montreal
I also pay our collective grocery and utility bills for another $800 a month, which is about $1,300 all-in. I save $1,685 monthly, which goes straight into my savings account.
My aunt makes an extra $500, and her monthly expenses have been reduced by about $400 because I'm taking on the utilities. This is almost enough to replace the income she's going to lose.
We also have a barter system — she cooks and does my laundry, but when we have big expenses, I handle them. I bought a couch when I moved in, and I'm replacing our hot water tank as soon as it's due for renewal. I hate cooking and laundry, and she gets stressed by these big one-time expenses, so we feel good about the exchange.
I don't regret my choice to move in with her at all, and I have no plans to leave
During the pandemic, my friend group spread across the country, so being completely by myself could be lonely at times.
Living with my aunt helps combat that loneliness and keeps my mental health in a good place. I feel much better about paying rent to my aunt than to a landlord, and it allows us both to put money aside for the future.
Want to share your story? Email Lauryn Haas at lhaas@businessinsider.com