Alvaro Medina Jurado/Getty Images
- My son is in 10th grade, and we're starting to talk about his college options.
- We're not sure yet if he'll go straight to college or take a gap year.
- There are benefits to both, and no matter what he chooses, I support his decision.
Planning for college begins early for a lot of families. My brand-new 10th grader and I are just starting to speak seriously about his post-high school plans, and I recently learned that for many families, college planning starts even earlier. Though it feels early to me, some start talking about what comes next the summer before their kids begin high school.
I'm a first-generation college graduate. Growing up, a lot of emphasis was placed on the importance of going to college, but there was no real guidance for what to do once I got there. No one helped me pick out a school, decide what to study, or pay for it. I picked the school my best friend chose, took many modern dance classes with little prior dance experience, and now have a perpetually looming student loan balance.
I would never say I regret my college experience, but I will say that it's impacted how I think about my son's. More than anything, I want him to feel supported no matter his decision, which is why when he floated the idea of taking a year off after high school — otherwise known as a gap year — I didn't bat an eye. In many ways, I think it's a great idea.
What a gap year is (and isn't)
A gap year isn't just a random break that students who aren't sure what they want to do after high school take — when approached properly, it's a span of time (typically 6 months to a year) that allows a young adult to reflect on what they really want from life, and where they want to go literally, physically, and metaphorically.
Young adults can use the time to expand their horizons, travel and see new parts of the world, work and plan for their future, and more.
There are benefits to taking a year before going to college
When done the right way, a gap year can provide possibilities. For example, while I went into college with no idea what I wanted to study, taking that year off from school can allow a young person to expand their minds and really consider their options, goals, passions, skills, and dreams. That's a major part of why I like this idea for my son if he chooses to do it.
The truth is that at 15, he has a lot of different interests, and a lot of different directions he could go in. He loves theater and performed in his first play last year. He's also a guitarist, and I could definitely see him pursuing something in the creative arts — but I could also see him exploring biology and wildlife science, two areas he was passionate about for many years. And, like a lot of young people, he might move in a direction that none of us can see coming just yet.
The appeal of a gap year to me is that he will be allowed to approach the world as a young adult without the context of also being a student. He's creative and social, still reads for fun, and is interested in writing his own music. He likes to travel, and he's interested in other people and cultures. A gap year could help him nurture all of these traits.
A gap year can also foster more independence, especially if he decides to move out of his dad's home and my home, which he alternates spending time between, and into his own place. It's hard to imagine him not coming home in only a few years, but I can also appreciate that independence could be something he'd enjoy.
The one con to taking a gap year doesn't seem that bad to me
For some, one big, obvious con for a gap year is starting college a year later, therefore graduating a year later — but not every student graduates in a neat four years to begin with, and career paths are constantly changing and morphing. Also, as someone who took five years to graduate from college (and was married and four months pregnant when I finally did), I can say that the extra year had little to no impact on my career trajectory.
My son has mentioned that he already has friends both older and younger than him. Of course, it's hard to know if he will go to college with those friends at this point (but they are very close-knit, so I wouldn't be surprised if that happens). He doesn't seem too bothered about the idea of starting college at 19 instead of 18, and it doesn't seem like it would make much of a difference in the long run.
If there is one concern I have, it's that going back to school after a year off and getting back into the routine could be challenging. However, the potential for a gap year to instill more responsibility and confidence in my son seems to outweigh this particular con in my mind.
We haven't reached a decision yet, but I feel like there's still plenty of time
Fortunately, even though many people start planning for college early on in their kids' lives, I feel that my son has plenty of time to decide what he wants to do. If he doesn't take a gap year, I think it would be a great idea to attend a junior college and knock out his basic requirements before he commits to a major — at least for a while.
To me, as a creative person who has managed to build a career in a field I love, I know that he has plenty of options available to him, and that it's OK if his collegiate journey doesn't follow a traditional path.