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- My husband and I were high school sweethearts but we married when we were 25.
- Our finances weren't great, and we realized we couldn't pay for a wedding.
- We took a $15,000 loan for our wedding that took us five years to pay.
My now-husband, Adam, and I are high school sweethearts, so although we got married young — we were both 25 — it didn't feel like we were getting married early.
While our love for each other may not have been teenage love, our view on finances definitely was. At the time of our engagement, I was in graduate school in Philadelphia, living on student loans, and Adam was in his first real job, making very little.
We lived as modestly as you can in a big city, squeezing together in a 498-square-foot apartment. The day Adam got down on one knee, the last thing we were thinking about was how much a wedding would cost.
We decided to take out a loan to pay for the wedding
As we were touring our fifth or sixth wedding venue, we realized that if we wanted a wedding, we would have to do it on our own. At this point, I already had the vision in my head: tons of greenery ($), a top photographer ($$), and an industrial all-inclusive venue with a per-person price ($$$).
We made shortcuts where we could — we cut the guest list down to under 100 people, we nixed the highly acclaimed videographer for a college student with a nice video camera, and we had a friend marry us rather than hiring an officiant. But still, it wasn't enough.
As we lay in bed one night, stressing out over how we were going actually to pay for this lavish event we were planning, we made the hard decision to take out a loan.
We were able to focus on the fun parts of the wedding
We may have been young, but we were still aware of the impact a large loan could have, especially for something like a wedding. It caused a lot of stress, but once the loan came in, we could focus on the fun parts of the wedding and not lose so much sleep over the money aspect. In the moment, it felt right and now, almost a decade later, we don't regret that late-night decision.
Our wedding was everything we dreamed it would be. I still look back, and I wouldn't change one thing. It was small and intimate, and the extra money we spent on things like our photographer meant we had memories to last us a lifetime.
We sit down and watch our video (the college student ended up doing a pretty decent job) with our two daughters, and we cry every time — and not just because the wedding was beautiful, but because it was the start of our life together and a reminder that we can always figure things out, no matter how hard it seems in the moment. We don't watch the video back and think of all the money we spent, we watch it and think of how far we've come and how despite the struggle, we created something beautiful.
Finances have been a struggle
Don't get me wrong — since we took that loan out, finances have been a struggle for us. Not just because of the wedding loan, but that, mixed with student loans, having kids, and, of course, the ever-changing economy, we have always had a monetary worry in the back of our minds.
But we paid off that wedding loan (yes, it took the whole five years), and we learned that no matter what kind of bind we get into, we will find our way out of it. Finances are a huge thing in a marriage and can even be the reason many people choose to divorce. We are aware that starting our marriage with financial woes may not have been the best choice or something others would choose, but it taught us a huge lesson that no matter what, money would never be something that would come between us.
Still, though, I wouldn't recommend taking out a loan for your wedding if you can avoid it. At almost 35, we likely would have made different choices. But our 25-year-old selves knew what we wanted for our big day, and we made it happen together, and that is something we will never regret.