Courtesy of Christopher Adam.
- My mother and I were always close and I saw her as my best friend.
- Her health issues began to get complicated at the same time I my job was becoming more stressful.
- I decided to make a change so I could spend more time with her during her last few months alive.
At times, grief can be an overwhelming experience that feels like a roller coaster. It can also remind us of all the good things in life and the choices we've made that put us in a place to experience happiness in the first place.
I made one of those choices in early 2024 — deciding to leave my job as a reporter to focus on spending time with my ailing mom. It was that decision that enabled me to spend the last several months of my mom's life with her.
My mom and I have always been close
When I look back, it's easy to see that my mom and I had been close my entire life. While she protected me and took on all the motherly duties you'd expect throughout the years, I felt she often went well beyond what was expected. I fondly recall a time when I was struggling with social anxiety and wanted to skip out on a school event. Instead, she took me out for a special dinner and ice cream to help calm my nerves.
My mom was sincerely my BFF, my best friend forever, as I liked to call her. As a child, she stayed home with me during the day and we'd watch game shows, cook together, and just laugh at things that only we seemed to find funny.
Then, as I got older, our our bond strengthened. I thought about needing to move away from her for work and what that might mean for our relationship. Luckily, the farthest I had to move was just two hours away to Chicago.
Then, her health took a turn
My most recent full-time job was pretty much a dream come true — I was a television and digital news reporter, working remotely for a major market which allowed me to still see my parents regularly.
During my time in that role, my mom was in and out of hospitals and rehabilitation centers because of various health issues. Due to the nature of my work, I was able to spend most days right beside her bed. Even when she was going through intense health things, she made me feel loved and always wanted to make sure I was taken care of properly.
Eventually, work stress started mounting and I began to wonder if the stress of my career was worth missing out on spending more time with my mom. I began exploring other career and job opportunities.
I quit my job to focus on my family
Fortunately, I felt like I had a good amount of savings and investments and I was able to secure some freelance writing work. With these securities in hand, I quit my job in April 2024 and have since been a freelance writer. The newsroom operation team I was a part of folded the next month, so it felt good knowing I made the right call.
From when I quit until she passed away in the intensive care unit in November 2024, my mom and I made so many more wonderful memories together.
Though she spent quite a bit of this time in a local rehab center, I was able to visit her every day. It was there that we spent many hours watching "Dragnet" and the game shows we loved. The center also had opportunities for us to enjoy something we've always liked doing together — playing good old-fashioned bingo.
Courtesy of Christopher Adam.
The rehab center also hosted a few trips, so we were able to attend a play and visit an amusement park outside of the rehab center's walls. It was so incredible to experience this with my mom and see her smile so genuinely in her final months.
I was able to be by her side
Around her birthday in October, my mom was taken to the emergency room. She spent the following month in the hospital and I was right there by her side until the end.
My mom and I spent 40 years together, loving each other in the most pure way. Though she is no longer with me, I'm grateful for the time we spent together and know she is, too.