Courtesy of Jane Ridley
- I was an average student without the ambition to go to college or pursue a high-flying career.
- But my friend Gerry knew exactly how much she wanted to succeed in life before she was 11.
- Her go-getting personality profoundly affected me and motivated me to up my game.
I rarely see my four besties from middle and high school. It only happens when the stars align, and we're back in our hometown at the same time.
Three of the women still live in our native England, one is in Australia, and I'm in the US after moving across the Atlantic nearly 20 years ago.
Still, we all got together in the summer of 2016 for lunch at a fancy hotel to mark the 30th anniversary of our high school graduation. And, in 2023, we booked a similar reunion at the same place.
A friend supported another through a tough time at school
Unfortunately, one of the group couldn't make it that time. Geraldine — affectionately known as Gerry — had to cancel last minute due to a national rail strike in the UK. It meant she couldn't travel the 250 miles from her home in London.
"Here's to Gerry," we said, clinking our glasses of wine. She'd always been the life and soul of the party. Inevitably, we reminisced about the good old days at school and the part she'd played in them.
"I owe a lot to Gerry," my friend, Louise, announced. To my surprise, she said she might have dropped out of high school if it hadn't been for Gerry.
I'd never heard the story before, but she'd convinced Louise to stick with it. It turned out Louise had become so overwhelmed by one of the classes they took together that she'd almost decided to quit.
Gerry's encouragement didn't stop at a pep talk. She became Louise's study partner, spending hours every week helping her grasp the complex science subject. "It got me into my biology degree, my postgraduate certificate in education, and ultimately a job," Louise, a teacher, said.
She called it her "sliding doors moment" and speculated on where she might have been without Gerry's influence.
She influenced me, too
It got me thinking about the impact of my own relationship with our mutual friend of 40-odd years. Gerry, who had a working class background, was a go-getter who excelled in academics and sports.
She attended one of the best colleges in the UK and became a venture capitalist. She served on company boards and was financially secure enough to retire before she turned 50.
It had always been part of her plan. I remember her telling me that she was going to leave a legacy. "I don't want to be famous," she said. "But I want to make a mark."
We were in middle school at the time. None of my peers but Gerry would have said something like that at 16, let alone 11. She'd already decided to study economics at university ahead of a career in finance. All she had to do was get the right grades.
Her ambition was breathtaking — and catching. I'd always been an average student, but after I met Gerry, I stepped up my game. It's majorly cringey, but we set up a "Flame of Knowledge" competition in our little friend group, where we logged our grades. A winner — nearly always Gerry — was declared every few months. There was even a nerdy trophy.
I often wonder where I'd be if it hadn't been for Gerry
Meanwhile, nobody in my family had been to university. I wasn't heading in that direction either. I wanted to be a newspaper reporter like my dad, and you didn't need a degree for the job at the time. Still, when Gerry was enthused about college, I wondered why I wasn't considering it either.
She also inspired me to put more effort into sports. I'm not athletic, but after I saw Gerry on the track, I took up running. She was also a keen artist. In our junior year, at her instigation, we did a course at our local library run by a famous writer and illustrator of children's books. I wrote about it on my college application.
It helped me get accepted into a good university. I am now in my 34th year of journalism — a profession that's taken me from London to New York. I'll never be able to follow my friend's lead and retire early, but I think I've done OK in life.
The revelation from Louise at the reunion Gerry missed finally made me realize the profound effect she'd had on me too. Since then, I've wondered about "sliding doors" and what might have happened if I hadn't met her 45 years ago in sixth grade.
Here's to you, Gerry.
Do you have an interesting story to share with Business Insider about someone who made a big influence on you? Please send details to jridley@businessinsider.com