Vladimir Vladimirov/Getty Images
- When we dropped our son off at college, my husband and I became empty nesters.
- We prioritized ourselves and allowed for rest to cope with our new normal.
- We were also able to say yes to things we never thought we could before.
After packing up the car and filling the dorm room, my husband and I became new empty nesters.
As we struggled to adjust to our new normal, I was suddenly reminded of the classic book "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten." It has been a while since the spine of Robert Fulghum's book has been cracked, but I remember the lessons being easy to follow. The book takes lessons we all learned in kindergarten and applies them to adult issues.
I wondered if, instead of reading self-help books or seeking sage advice, that old book could be a source of direction. Turns out, the simple concepts helped my husband and I navigate our empty nest.
Focusing on three simple tips — to look, to take a nap, and to live a balanced life — helped us transition to life's next chapter.
Look around and take in new opportunities
As many parents can understand, raising children is like being a master scheduler. Juggling school, sports, and general tasks can make that family calendar seem more chaotic than optimizing the Lightning Lane at a Disney Park. Overscheduling isn't an anomaly; it is a reality. Our busy days created a self-imposed narrow pathway.
But now, with an open schedule, my perspective and willingness to accept opportunities have widened. From saying "yes" to that extra beer at happy hour, knowing there's no crack of dawn swim meet, to saying yes to that unbeatable last-minute travel deal — the cliché of "the world is our oyster" has merit.
But I can still say no. The difference is that I have the choice now. That narrow focus, which never wavered for so many years, has been lifted, and a new perspective is on the horizon.
Embrace the recharge that naptime offers
To be clear, napping is not necessarily snuggling up on the couch for a two-hour snooze. It is allowing yourself to take a break, step away from the noise, and just sit with yourself. The whole point of naptime in kindergarten was to reset and recharge.
Now that I actually have time to rest, I am finally relaxing.
As parents, we have experienced too many days, months, and even years of life constantly moving. Learning to appreciate the concept of stopping or stepping away takes time. It does not have to be that bucket list vacation where the cellphone service is unavailable. That quiet, rainy afternoon spent watching Hallmark movies works, too.
Permitting ourselves to take a moment is vital, and it has helped me accept my new empty nest.
Live a balanced life where your kid is no longer the priority
To be clear, my husband and I have never regretted any choice that we have made over the years, prioritizing our son. Watching him receive his West Point acceptance is far more meaningful than sitting on a beach in Mexico.
But now, the balance is titled in connecting as a couple. It is totally permissible for us to choose to spend that long weekend at a golf resort rather than going to a college football game.
A friend reminded me that parents provide their children with roots and wings. No matter where we are in the world, our family is forever connected through our shared roots. That foundation allows us to spread our wings and soar toward our goals and dreams.
For us, as a couple, the house might be quieter, and the fridge might be less full, but our time together has entered a new chapter. During this back-to-school season, the nest might be empty, but we are embracing the bounty of opportunities ahead.