My mom grieved the real talks dementia took away with my grandpa. I loved the nonsense ones.

Tech Insider : Business
Woman with grandfather
The author found new ways to talk to her grandfather when he had dementia.

Courtesy of the author

  • My grandpa's dementia made conversations unpredictable and confusing.
  • I learned to accept his reality instead of correcting him.
  • That approach helped us stay connected in a new way.

"What's your favorite color, grandpa?"

I was raised by my mom and her sisters. Growing up with 3 'mothers' has made me a more thoughtful adult.

Tech Insider : Business, Sports
The writer standing in a pumpkin patch with a blue sky in the background.
I grew up in a split-level home with my mom and her two sisters. My unconventional, modern upbringing shaped who I am now.

Sara Sturek

My dad's dementia care cost $17,000 a month. It wiped out his life savings in 16 months.

Tech Insider : Business
Man playing with toddler
The author's dad had dementia and needed round-the-clock care.

Courtesy of the author

When I was younger, being present was easier. Now that I have kids, I'm rethinking what it means to me.

Tech Insider : Business
A mother exhausted on the couch while two kids play.
The author (not pictured) had an easier time being present before she was a parent.

Thanasis Zovoilis/Getty Images

While other moms carried their kids' backpacks, I handed mine a wrench. It taught her independence.

Tech Insider : Business, Style
Woman posing for camera

Courtesy of the author

My closest friendships came from motherhood. They didn't last.

Tech Insider : Business, Sports, Technology
Old photo of mom
The author doesn't speak to her mom friends anymore.

Courtesy of the author

I've lived in a van and an off-grid home. Both lifestyles had pros and cons, but neither fits our needs right now.

Tech Insider : Business, Style
The writer's partner holding her in the middle of a camper van, with the door open and sunlight streaming in.
Van life was a dream, but there were also some downsides.

Jayme Serbell

I spend Mother's Day at my son's grave. It's the only place I feel like a whole family.

Tech Insider : Business
The author and her two kids at the grave of her son, William.
The author and her family spend Mother's Day at her son William's grave.

Courtesy of Susie Shaw

I just landed my first job post-college after 2 years of unemployment. I should be excited, but all I feel is survivor's guilt.

Tech Insider : Business
birds eye view of a man at this work desk
The author just landed his first job post-college.

Maskot/Getty Images

My grandmother stepped in when I needed her. I stepped up for her later.

Tech Insider : Business, Style
Family photo
The author took care of her grandmother as she got older.

Courtesy of the author

Subscribe to Essay