I spent 3 years trying to gain my boyfriend's trust after I cheated on him. What I really needed to do was forgive myself.

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Tired and despaired blonde woman sits hunched over a table, her face filled with sorrow.
The author says she heard what she needed from a new partner to finally forgive herself.

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My basement was full of stuff. After 24 years of accumulating, I finally started decluttering and it was so satisfying.

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Woman standing at a thrift store
The author decided to finally declutter her home after 24 years of accumulating things.

Courtesy of the author

After my divorce, I took back my old last name. I feel like I took back my identity.

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a woman looking out the window, happily
The author, not pictured, changed her last name after her divorce.

NIKOLA MILJKOVIC/Getty Images

Stop asking my kids what their plans are for college. It's the question they hate the most.

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Laura Falin and her family on graduation day
The author, second from left, has a few college-age kids.

Courtesy of Laura Falin

I lost my apartment in a fire. I learned that community is what makes a home.

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A man fixes his glasses while carrying things up a set of stairs to an apartment with a woman behind him
A man helps a tenant with carrying her plants.

freemixer/Getty Images

Many grandmothers provide regular childcare for their grandkids. I refuse to do that, and I'm not a bad grandma.

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Grandmother playing with her newborn baby granddaughter after changing diaper
The author loves her grandchildren, but at 67 doesn't want to look after them regularly.

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I didn't take my husband's last name, and people are surprisingly judgmental. They ask what he thinks about it.

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Patricia Garrison and her husband smiling at the camera. He is wearing a button-up shirt and she is wearing a cream denim jacket.
Patricia Garrison didn't take her husband's last name when she got married.

Courtesy of Patricia Garrison

My group of close friends was made up of 2 couples and myself. When one couple split, I grieved too.

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A woman comforts her friend with a hug.
A woman comforts her friend with an embrace.

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I grew up in a cluttered house. Now, I feel satisfaction from donating things I don't use.

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Woman sitting on bed packing up donation box of clothing.
The author (not pictured) doesn't like to keep clutter around her house.

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We lived in Charleston for a year, but it was too expensive and crowded. Now, we're happily settled 2 hours north.

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Rainbow Row in Charleston, South Carolina.
Charleston is beautiful and wildly popular, but it can also be an expensive place to live.

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